I admit I was a little apprehensive, because I’m very much an outsider of this group, and after Matt said he was worried I might get left out I was thinking about it, they’re all so close and have all these special words and in-jokes but after tonight I do feel better.
Beth and Hannah are lovely (Beth obviously she’s my best friend) and Abi seems nice too, and we’ll probably be together during the day more than with the boys because we have plans like going to the zoo, and the chocolate museum!
Anyway, aside from that brief moment I thought I was going to be sick (don’t know what that was AND I still don’t feel 100%) I had a nice time, and now I’m not worried :)
I might get a better sleep, I might get all the covers and I might get to sleep for as long as I want, but there is something so empty about it.
I can never get to sleep as fast, I have to put on a podcast to break the silence that should be filled with your slow breathing, your rustling under the covers to get comfy, your occasional murmurs.
I wrap myself up in my covers when I’m alone, I keep my pyjamas on, I need something against my skin. None of it compares to you, the cuddling before we kiss each other goodnight and fall asleep, waking up for 5 seconds and moving closer to you, feeling your hair sometimes brush against me, and when I am facing the other way and feel your arm wrap itself around me in the dark. When we both wake up at 4am and you raise your arm to indicate I should lay on your chest. And that’s where I should be, every night. We don’t sleep cuddling, mostly we sleep back-to-back, but that doesn’t stop us pressing up against each other in those brief moments.
I don’t know, its just somehow, you even make my six to seven hours of nightly unconsciousness better…
Thinking about how busy I am for the next few weeks is making me tired
I’m going to need another holiday! Despite the fact I’m having two.
So tomorrow I’m meeting Ann for dinner, home to carry on packing, going out for tea with the people who are going to Germany where I will assess if Matt is right and if I will end up feeling left out or not. Hm.
Tuesday I am at the charity shop, and in all honesty I wish I wasn’t, but I’m learning how to use the till so it might be more interesting… doubt it.
Wednesday I’ll be finishing off packing then going to collect Matt from the train station and all I want all night is snugs
Thursday we’re up early for Cardiff, 4 hours on trains, FUN
Our plans for Cardiff are shopping and exploring so that’ll be lots of walking and CRAMP I will be stocking up on painkillers. But, the fact that it’s with my boy and we finally get to have a bath together and the rendezvous will be so worth it
Monday = 6 hours on a train the day before my period so just nobody is talking to me that day expect Matt.
Wednesday - Friday packing up my uni room, I’m sure it could be done in one day with Matt’s help though
Saturday I just want a lovely day with Matt, that is all I want.
Sunday I’m moving out of my flat and spending the journey trying to keep it together
Monday - unpack from Cardiff/start packing for Cologne
Tuesday - charity shop
Weds it’s Joe’s birthday and also Ann’s bday but I will need to finish my packing probably
12th - 15th Cologne with Beth and her friends, and we’re back late on the 15th
Monday - SLEEP
Tuesday - fucking boring ass charity shop
I think after all that I might just die
and then I’ll have to organise my crap from uni
and Matt will be in Wales doing work experience so we won’t be talking like at all during the day for 2 weeks good that’ll be good
I can’t remember a night out with him and his friend’s where at least one of them hasn’t said/insinuated that they want to sleep with him, and so much inappropriate touching. It’s all a joke, but its just odd! Last night they were like “we just appreciate how beautiful he is” and well I can’t complain, I got a hottie and everyone knows it :’)
I loved today! Spent it with my best bud, went shopping in the day and saw Chris Ramsey tonight. He was hilarious, his new tour will be great and I think Matt will enjoy it too :D
But the best bit! We were waiting for Beth’s mum but we were waiting in the foyer cos it was raining, and Chris Ramsey walked out but he was proper deep in conversation, he said hi, but we didn’t wanna like interrupt, anyway, so when we were waiting outside he drove past, pulled up and was like “you weren’t waiting for an autograph or anything were you?” and we were like oh no it’s fine, and we had a bit of a chat! Dead weird, you don’t expect comedians to come up and talk to you after gigs haha
It was so surreal but so awesome! I am in such a good mood! And tomorrow is Blink 182 AND on Saturday I’m back in Newcastle with my boy! Life is good!!