Laughing really is the way to my heart, and the fact he gets me, gets my weirdness and is just as weird as me just make me know he is so perfect for me :)
Had a bath with Matt! And it was awesome!!
Got here about 20 to 3, found the hotel, it’s a dead nice room too! And we’ve been out and found all the shops and places for tea!
Nandos for tea tonight, I’m starving already!
I know it’s only been 4 days, and I have been absolutely fine because I’ve been so busy, but things are just better when he’s around!
My mum just asked if I was excited about seeing him haha course I am, I’m always like a kid at Christmas every time I see him after a few days apart. Such a soppy bastard…
I admit I was a little apprehensive, because I’m very much an outsider of this group, and after Matt said he was worried I might get left out I was thinking about it, they’re all so close and have all these special words and in-jokes but after tonight I do feel better.
Beth and Hannah are lovely (Beth obviously she’s my best friend) and Abi seems nice too, and we’ll probably be together during the day more than with the boys because we have plans like going to the zoo, and the chocolate museum!
Anyway, aside from that brief moment I thought I was going to be sick (don’t know what that was AND I still don’t feel 100%) I had a nice time, and now I’m not worried :)
I might get a better sleep, I might get all the covers and I might get to sleep for as long as I want, but there is something so empty about it.
I can never get to sleep as fast, I have to put on a podcast to break the silence that should be filled with your slow breathing, your rustling under the covers to get comfy, your occasional murmurs.
I wrap myself up in my covers when I’m alone, I keep my pyjamas on, I need something against my skin. None of it compares to you, the cuddling before we kiss each other goodnight and fall asleep, waking up for 5 seconds and moving closer to you, feeling your hair sometimes brush against me, and when I am facing the other way and feel your arm wrap itself around me in the dark.
When we both wake up at 4am and you raise your arm to indicate I should lay on your chest. And that’s where I should be, every night. We don’t sleep cuddling, mostly we sleep back-to-back, but that doesn’t stop us pressing up against each other in those brief moments.
I don’t know, its just somehow, you even make my six to seven hours of nightly unconsciousness better…
I’m going to need another holiday! Despite the fact I’m having two.
- So tomorrow I’m meeting Ann for dinner, home to carry on packing, going out for tea with the people who are going to Germany where I will assess if Matt is right and if I will end up feeling left out or not. Hm.
- Tuesday I am at the charity shop, and in all honesty I wish I wasn’t, but I’m learning how to use the till so it might be more interesting… doubt it.
- Wednesday I’ll be finishing off packing then going to collect Matt from the train station and all I want all night is snugs
- Thursday we’re up early for Cardiff, 4 hours on trains, FUN
- Our plans for Cardiff are shopping and exploring so that’ll be lots of walking and CRAMP I will be stocking up on painkillers. But, the fact that it’s with my boy and we finally get to have a bath together and the rendezvous will be so worth it
- Monday = 6 hours on a train the day before my period so just nobody is talking to me that day expect Matt.
- Wednesday - Friday packing up my uni room, I’m sure it could be done in one day with Matt’s help though
- Saturday I just want a lovely day with Matt, that is all I want.
- Sunday I’m moving out of my flat and spending the journey trying to keep it together
- Monday - unpack from Cardiff/start packing for Cologne
- Tuesday - charity shop
- Weds it’s Joe’s birthday and also Ann’s bday but I will need to finish my packing probably
- 12th - 15th Cologne with Beth and her friends, and we’re back late on the 15th
- Monday - SLEEP
- Tuesday - fucking boring ass charity shop
I think after all that I might just die
and then I’ll have to organise my crap from uni
and Matt will be in Wales doing work experience so we won’t be talking like at all during the day for 2 weeks good that’ll be good
Man I’m exhausted just thinking about it…
Buy one get one free on pizzas because of the football
but excludes small
so OH NO had to get a medium drat